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Bill of No Rights
 
Provided as a comparison to the
FIRST TEN AMENDMENTS TO THE
CONSTITUTION OF THE UNITED STATES

Effective Today
 
   Preamble to the Bill of No Rights in the current state of today’s Nation.
 
   We the sensible people of the United States, in an attempt to help everyone get along, restore some semblance of justice, avoid more riots, keep our nation safe, promote positive behavior, and secure the blessings of debt free liberty to ourselves and our great-great-great-grandchildren, hereby try one more time to ordain and establish some common sense guidelines for the terminally whiny, guilt ridden, delusional, and other liberal bed-wetters. Democrats whom have been infiltrated by Liberals are a motley assortment of evildoers, useful idiots, racebaiters, racists, political hacks, synchophants, narciscists, abortionists, hedonists, skanks, journalists, globalists, pollsters, professors, welfare cheats, illegal aliens, dead people, professional victims, communists, socialists, nazis, homosexuals, transvestites, lawyers, Islamo-lovers, pacifists, violent criminals, hippies, dopeheads, actors, treehuggers, tyrants and fools.
 
   We hold these truths to be self-evident, that a whole lot of people were confused by the Bill of Rights and are so dim that they require a Bill of No Rights.
 
Amendment I - Bill of NO rights effective as of Tuesday, December 12, 2017

 
   ...You do not have the right to a new car, big-screen color TV or any other form of wealth. More power to you if you can legally acquire them, but no one is guaranteed anything.
 
Amendment II - Bill of NO rights effective as of Tuesday, December 12, 2017

 
   ...You do not have the right to never be offended. This country is based on freedom, and that means freedom for everyone -- not just you! You may leave the room, turn the channel, express a different opinion, etc..., but the world is full of idiots, and probably always will be.
 
Amendment III - Bill of NO rights effective as of Tuesday, December 12, 2017

 
   ...You do not have the right to be free from harm. If you stick a screwdriver in your eye, learn to be more careful, do not expect the tool manufacturer to make you and all of your relatives independently wealthy.
 
Amendment IV - Bill of NO rights effective as of Tuesday, December 12, 2017

 
   ...You do not have the right to free food and housing. Americans are the most charitable people to be found, and will gladly help anyone in need, but we are quickly growing weary of subsidizing generation after generation of professional couch potatoes who achieve nothing more than the creation of another generation of professional couch potatoes. You do not have the right to a job. All of us sure want you to have a job, and will gladly help you along in hard times, but we expect you to take advantage of the opportunities of education and vocational training laid before you to make yourself useful.
 
Amendment V - Bill of NO rights effective as of Tuesday, December 12, 2017

 
   ...You do not have the right to free health care. That would be nice, but from the looks of public housing, we're just not interested in public health care.
 
Amendment VI - Bill of NO rights effective as of Tuesday, December 12, 2017

 
   ...You do not have the right to physically harm other people. If you kidnap, rape, intentionally maim or kill someone, don't be surprised if the rest of us want to see you fry in the electric chair.
 
Amendment VII - Bill of NO rights effective as of Tuesday, December 12, 2017

 
   ...You do not have the right to the possessions of others. If you rob, cheat, or coerce away the goods or services of other citizens, don't be surprised if the rest of us get together and lock you away in a place where you still won't have the right to a big-screen color TV or a life of leisure.
 
Amendment VIII - Bill of NO rights effective as of Tuesday, December 12, 2017

 
   ...You do not have the right to demand that our children risk their lives in foreign wars to soothe your aching conscience. We hate oppressive governments and won't lift a finger to stop you from going to fight if you'd like. However, we do not enjoy parenting the entire world and do not want to spend so much of our time battling each and every little tyrant with a military uniform and a funny hat.
 
Amendment IX - Bill of NO rights effective as of Tuesday, December 12, 2017

 
   ...You do not have the right to a job. All of us sure want you to have one, and will gladly help you along in hard times, but we expect you to take advantage of the opportunities in education and vocational training laid before you to make yourself useful.
 
Amendment X - Bill of NO rights effective as of Tuesday, December 12, 2017

 
   ...You do not have the right to happiness. Being an American means that you have the right to pursue happiness -- which, by the way, is a lot easier if you are unencumbered by an overabundance of idiotic laws created by those around you who were confused by the Bill of Rights.
 
"If a man cannot be trusted with the government of himself,
can he be trusted with the government of others?"
-- Thomas Jefferson
 
   A couple of Liberals were walking down a gravel road south of town.
 
   They came upon an older man, laying off in a ditch, crying out and moaning from a beating he'd suffered earlier.
 
   One Liberal said to the other, "this is awful...poor soul."
 
   The other Liberal reponded, "right. We've got to find who ever did this and help him."
 
 

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